please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
