Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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