I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
