I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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