Apparently you make a good broom.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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