I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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