haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
