Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
