The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
