so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I am one with the molecules
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
