Nicole vs. Life
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
