It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
