Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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