She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
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Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
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I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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