so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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