I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
