So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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