you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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