How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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