I'm going to jail i love you
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
