I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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