The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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