Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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