I wish my penis had an off switch
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
