It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize