i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
