I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
