Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
