he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
