I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
