If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
