Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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