Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Randomize
