listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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