I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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