It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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