Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
