are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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