I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
