can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
