He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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