No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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