They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
