So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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