So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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