So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
