I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Dicks are not precious.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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