Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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