You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
