oh god the rape fog is back!
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
