She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
