I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Did I show you my penis last night?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
