she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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