we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
