other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
