Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
