Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
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It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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