I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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