It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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