she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
COCAINE IS GR8
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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