Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
